in thoughts...

Since coming to NUS, got to know many people -
some, you just remember their names, but they don't seem to remember you - no mutual recognition, therefore no conversation
some, you remember each other's names - mutual recognition, but no talk exchanged except for "Hi!" or "Bye!"
some, you know their names, maybe even had the same tutorial group as them - Highest level of talk: "So what modules are you taking this semester?", conversation usually ends with "Hey, I gotta go (insert place name or some tutorial class or lecture), talk to you again... see ya!"

Fri I had E Lang test, but slept at 3am, woke up at 10am I think... Printer ran out of ink, couldn't print out some notes last minute (some forum clarifications on a particular question) so dashed off into AS7 Computer cluster to try to print just before the class (hey, open book test, might as well right? haha... kiasu la I know...) Thought I could settle it in a few minutes, and my lecture room is just in AS7 anyway...

Com cluster was packed like MAD. was hovering around hoping some folks will just siam soon... saw a computer no one was using, tried to log on, but a window popped up saying that the computer has too many registered users or something... So I stood and waited.

Aly came by into the Computer cluster - it's quite weird how we got to know each other - when I turned up for SWAPS AGM in Year 1, we were the only 2 people who didn't go for the FOC but came for AGM, so we kinda stuck together (cos everyone knew everyone else)... We din even talk a lot that night, and we both left before the AGM halfway... Din exchange numbers either.

But we will say Hi everytime we see each other - this "persistance" of saying Hi consistently is quite unusual for me - for people whom I don't really know well, dun get to know better through talk, no chance to keep the connection, somehow the Hi-s become less and less until we degenerate to a level when we seem like we had never spoke to each other before... haha... For the 2 of us we just occasionally ask what modules we're doing... that's it...

But on Fri, she came into the com cluster, we said hi, so she was asking me what's up and all that... so told her I had a test like in 5 minutes... she tried to log on to the computer I tried using, and she actually managed to log on - think she used that computer before and so her settings and stuff are saved in that particular computer... So she actually offered to let me use the computer after she logged on... Was quite touched by her gesture... asked if she was in a hurry, she said no, so I found my stuff and printed them, so she had to go the the computer to enter her userid for me...

Managed to get in class just in time before test started. Felt quite happy that I can know Aly - who's willing to help when I needed it...

yesterday - a good day... had nice breakfast (Mum made her unique carrot cake with prawns and sotong... drool...). Had nice tuition session with R. Had time to go look see look see at John Little sale at White Sands before my tuition with B(but nothing much to buy... oh well). Had an okay tuition session with B (where he kept trying to tell me stupid jokes).

Met SY at TM before we headed by to school by bus 10 - had dinner at Fong Seng (Yum). Then 2 of us rushed back to hall to bathe before meeting ZS for the production by Chinese Soc, 心酝. Went back to hall, then SY and me went running (okie, jogging for me lah, cos I'm super slow... hee). Felt super good after that - haven't run without stopping for so long, din even feel like I needed to stop (woo hoo... endorphin high?)

Walked to Zhen's house from school after that - cos no more bus 96 running at that time... talked talked talked with SY on the way there, so though the walking journey took quite long, it din feel that long. Reached Zhen's place, dunno if she sleeping or bathing - her room lights were out - SY started fiddling with the top window panes - open close open close - think I'd freak out if I were sleeping and my window panes started moving... haha... but she just finished bathing so she came over to the window and discovered us standing there... haha... quite funny...

Sat in her room, talked a bit, then started walking back. Reached hall about 330am. Man... this must be the hall life... haha... late nights, surprise visits, super late night showers (or early morning showers - depending on how you see it...)

***
心酝
hmm interesting blend of Chinese drama, singing, dance and chinese orchestra. But the drama... left me feeling like it could have been better. not enough character development and story development, I feel. I would have wanted to know more - especially about 杰 and his relationship with his sister, and how his sister was affected by him and their father...

Singing was not bad - YZ from my Secondary School Choir was doing supporting vocals for the main singer for 2 songs - turns out she's one of the group leaders for the singing group... Her voice damn zai one... last time she had the role of Cosette when our choir did the Les Misérables musical as part of our performance...

Dancing - yeah well, spotted a girl which I thought danced really well - turns out she's one of the group leaders for dance... really natural and graceful - has quite an angelic face too... :)

CO - it's quite a small group... SY was saying that she likes the "big works" kinda CO songs - with 唢呐 and all those other types of instruments... ZS was saying they sound a bit "hollow" without the cellos and bass... Listening to CO music always reminds me of Xinli...hee... when was the last CO concert we went to together? One year ago ya? DHSCO performance... ;)

Mission: Midnight surprise chocolate "attack"
Mission status: Failed!!!

argh. So anti-climax. wanted to surprise Ting by popping up at her hall at midnight with chocs to wish her happy 21st. She was at HOME!! haha... damn funny... was already standing on the floor of her block with the chocs when I called her on the phone to ask her to come out of the room...

At midnight:
"Hey Girl! Happy 21st!"
"Thanks!"
"Can you do me a favour? Can you come out from your room?"
"Huh? *short pause* What are you doing?"
"Just come out la..."
"I'm not in hall leh..."
mental *faint*

Even had Max, who stays at the same hall but different block, do detective work to help me find out which floor she stays on, cos I din wanna ask her directly - too obvious - Ting's too smart for that... haha... sigh... oh well... back to the books - 2 hours before my E Lang Psycholinguistics test! ARGH...

tue meeting:
was listening quite intently when I heard "... have to hand in their theses..."
started giggling uncontrollably...

say it fast. Don't be lazy about pronouncing the "th".

It sounded terribly like "hand in their feces".

***
wed dinner:
Eating dinner at Arts Canteen... Chinese rice store... they were about to pack up and finish, looking at the amount of variety left for me to choose from...chose my food, paid the money, was taking my fork and spoon when the uncle asked: "小姐要淋汁 吗?" ("Do you want some gravy?")
Replied: "不用了, 谢谢!" ("Nope, thanks!")
Thinking: 淋汁就不用了, 灵芝我就不介意... (Gravy no need... Reishi I dun mind...)
***

Pardon me. When you study and study and study but don't seem to remember anything, the mind goes a bit cranky. The smallest thing can seem quite funny. or not.

D: I think my implicit memory's fine, and I do trust it, but I din give it enough input for it to really work for my bio psych test, so... oh well... If I get one-third of my bio test correct I think I must go and buy lottery. 10 MCQ questions - nothing ever seemed more Greek to me. 2 short answer questions - what a bummer, I read that chapter, I did! But can't remember a single thing. Damn. 1 long answer question - about depression, chronic stress, the drugs to take and the drawbacks - the way I was renaming drugs, you'd think I made my own pills... totally forgot the names of the different types of drugs.

Argh. I should really start to hit the books huh? What have I been doing? Right. My new resolution: Hit the books!
*Slaps fist into thick pile of books*

I didn't see.
I didn't realize.
And now I don't know what I can do.

Damn, hate feeling so helpless.

got this from an email forwarded by YP... quite interesting read... haha... just for fun lah...

*can't save the picture of the 2 grids, oh well...*

The two grids above are called Numerology Grids. The numbers from Joanna's birth date - her Gregorian calendar birth numbers - are inserted into the Western Grid in certain positions. Her birth date is then converted into the Chinese lunar calendar, and the equivalent Lunar birth date numbers are inserted into the Chinese Grid, but in different positions. In this way the Chinese and Western numerological interpretations complement each other.

Character, personality and employment characteristics are gleaned from the position of those numbers in each grid, the quantity of each number, and the lack of numbers. Comments on each number (or sets of numbers) are recorded below. Green arrows represent positive characteristics derived from having three numbers in a row (horizontal, vertical or diagonal), whilst red arrows represent somewhat negative characteristics derived from three blanks in a row. Be aware that to read numerology grids accurately takes a lot of practice, and before acting on what you see here you should study the whole subject in much greater detail. Nor should you disregard the profound influence of genetics and upbringing.

Ki System

Natal Year number: 8
Joanna is a steady, responsible and reliable individual who dislikes change for change's sake. She is a solid family person who enjoys tradition, but is inclined to say exactly what she thinks. Such frankness can occasionally land her in trouble. Behind a somewhat ponderous exterior lies a deeply sensitive soul whose core is rarely exposed to public view.

Natal Month number: 5
A realist who brings a practical approach to problem solving, Joanna's confident outlook will soon lead her to a position of leadership. Because she has developed fixed views on the important things of life, Joanna has an inner core of confidence that will at times make her appear stubborn. Yet such a trait is so well balanced with the gentle side of her nature, that her personality appeals to a wide audience. Wow... I actually wanna believe this part... haha...

Natal House number: 8
Somewhat stubborn when pushed too far, Joanna is inclined to be one of those people who cannot see the wood for the trees. In effect her methodical approach leads her to become immersed in the detail and thus lose touch with the ultimate aim. Although she may be financially successful, she is not one to display that wealth in an ostentatious manner.

Comments based on Western Grid

1 Although Joanna may be reasonably talkative in public, she finds it difficult to express personal feelings to those closest to her. In employment terms, this inhibition is of little consequence.

3 With a creative mind and a good memory, Joanna is honest, straightforward and optimistic. She will achieve her aims. She is capable of creative thought, and will appreciate art and music. She also enjoys an excellent memory - a significant advantage in any employment.

6 Creative yet somewhat insecure, Joanna is a family-orientated person who enjoys domestic responsibilities. She could well be employed in the hospitality industry - perhaps running a hotel, or B & B venture. In an office environment Joanna will be valuable as the individual to whom others will turn for moral support. But home for Joanna is where the heart is, and domestic responsibilities will always be important.

8 Good with details and with a methodical approach, Joanna nevertheless is someone who enjoys constant new challenges to maintain her interest. She is a methodical individual with attention to detail, but is inclined to leave tasks unfinished if her active mind alights on something of greater interest. Routine tasks that fail to challenge her intellect are at greatest risk, so Joanna needs a job that offers variety.

99 Enjoying high intelligence, Joanna is inclined to look down on those who are not as intelligent as she. Oh my GOSH! I'm not such a snotty snob right??!!haha... I'm not that bloody intelligent anyway... haha... Hence she does not mix well with society in general, and in particular with different social strata. Yet Joanna is very ambitious to improve her lot, and will constantly strive for a better standard of living. She also possesses strong humanitarian ideals that may find expression in charitable work.

[The Arrow of Intellect: the numbers 3, 6 and 9] With a good brain and an excellent memory, Joanna is inclined to use her mind at the expense of her emotions. Well-balanced, she will help those around her, even though she tends to look down on those who are not her intellectual equals. Those with the Arrow of Intellect are very employable.

Comments based on Chinese Grid

1 Joanna will make some money and enjoy a reasonable standard of living.

2 Joanna has an average mind, and without the numbers 4 and 9 in the Chinese version will not enjoy a creative existence. nope, I dun have 4 and 9, so no creative existence for moi huh? haha... this is quite an amusing read when you compare the Western Grid and Chinese Grid, so contradicting...

3 Unless Joanna also has in the Chinese version either the numbers 5 and 7, or the numbers 4 and 8, she will be hypersensitive and prone to stress-related problems. Eh, what if I have half half of each??!! haha...

7 If the numbers 3 and 5 in the Chinese version are missing, Joanna is something of a perfectionist who seeks to achieve detailed accuracy, and has a natural instinct to unearth the truth. If the Chinese Grid also contains the numbers 3 and 5, she will be attracted to work in a spiritual or humanitarian field.

8 In the absence (in the Chinese version) of the numbers 1 and 6, she will be good with money and details. She will be happier if the Chinese grid includes the numbers 5 and 7.

99 Joanna is intelligent, and prepared to learn. Without the numbers 3, 5 and 7 in the Chinese version, Joanna is likely to use her head at the expense of her heart, which can lead her to become something of a workaholic.

[The Arrow of Suspicion: Lacking the numbers 4, 5 and 6] Joanna is a cynic who worries too much about the downside. She needs to recognise more of life's advantages.


Can try the test here for yourself...

for animal behaviour project... went to look at the elephants mainly... saw a lot of babies also... and little toddlers.. quite fun... Haven't been to the zoo in ages...think the last time was in primary school... when we were supposed to go as a school to see the Bengal White Tiger, but it rained and we din see a thing...

anyway today, watched the elephant show twice, and hung around their area trying to observe their behaviour... there's also this little hut-like area with showcases and posters about elephants, we went there and found these volunteers who come in on Sundays to tell the public about elephants - answer some queries they have, and show them the exhibits and offer some bits of information... they were almost about to go off already - they're only there for half of every Sunday... but we told them we were doing a project, so one guy was telling us stuff about elephants and answering our questions... think we really took quite some of his time (the other volunteers were hanging around waiting for him to go off together)... but he didn't seem to mind at all... can tell that he's quite passionate about the topic of elephants... can talk on and on... hee... then after lunch we went to talk to one of the elephant trainers - mahouts (dunno how to spell) who told us a bit more about the elephants...

was so tired after the whole thing... we din even manage to walk half of the zoo... haha... other than the elephants we only saw the polar bear show, the primates show and a bit of the sea lions show... hee... will go back and look see look see more when I have time and some company... hee...

sigh... June... I'm also doing personality tests but not the assignment... haha... ;)

went for a sleep deprivation experiment last night... wah... damn tiring can... but it was quite fun... to get my brain scanned after the whole thing... but it was damn difficult to keep myself from dozing off in the machine while doing the tests... at first when they first put me into the machine it was quite scary - there are loud noises (have to wear ear plugs), but you can still hear the noise, and there was this particular pounding sound that just made my heart pound faster too... then you have to bite this piece of plastic so your head will stay in place and wun move about too much... you're not supposed to swallow either...

wah... no joke leh... was super super tired... I could have fallen asleep standing up... din even flinch when Zhen poked me in the ribs when we reached Clementi MRT... even the ticklish muscles fell asleep... haha..

Came back to hall (it was noon, wah super hot) and just changed and fell unto the bed to sleep... set alarm for 2pm - was idealistically thinking I might be able to catch webcast, but OF COS I pushed the alarm button back down and slept more...

had the weirdest dream... I don't usually remember my dreams, but this one was so CLEAR... so REAL though UTTERLY RIDICULOUS... haha...

Dreamt that I quarrelled with SY... haha... also dunno for what... it's not about the pink underwear.. haha... anyway we had quite a heated argument and I took my stuff and left in a very movie/drama serial kinda way (ie super fast and efficient packing) though of cos in real life it'll take me much longer to pack my stuff.. haha... anyway I stormed off and dashed off to take bus 65 (which is ridiculous cos the bus doesn't come anywhere near to my hall...)

Even more weird - I went on the bus and I sat on the last row and sitting diagonally to me was Gab - someone who was quite well-known in VJC, but I din know him personally... dunno why he was in the dream also (the last time he came into any conversation I had was a very long time ago liao - when ZS asked if I knew him cos we were same batch from VJ...) Anyway he was wearing the white officer uniform (which is damn weird again... cos they dun usually wear that uniform - the one they all wear for Com Ball...) This part of the dream felt weird, it was like deja vu within the dream - when I was dreaming about this part, I felt an awareness that I had dreamt this part before... wah... multi-layered dreaming...

anyway I sat on the bus - the route was totally wrong for bus 65... but anyway at one point in time I looked out of the window and saw 2 huge dogs - those type the Eskimos use for pulling skis and I dunno what... haha...

Feeling weirdly energized now despite lack of sleep... shall try to do my PID CA... argh... haven't started at all... I'm DEAD MEAT, soon to be DEAD BEAT.

Went for the course with SY yesterday... basic level one course for "sports climbing"... quite fun quite fun... haha... learned how to do belaying for a climber.... it's quite scary to know that you're holding on to a rope that can make or break another person's fall, but when you actually can control it, it's quite fun... though I think our hands all got a bit scraped by the rope cos we were all pulling so hard...

"Am I on belay?"
"Yes."
"Climbing!"
"Climb on!"

and it's quite fun to climb, though it really takes a lot of technique and brains to do it well... but what the heck, yesterday was just like, got rock to hold just hold, got rock to step just step... anyhow climb... haha... but the really good climbers don't even wear the harness - they just need the chalk for them to keep their hands dry... and their ascent - so so smooth... very cool...

spent the day at tuition. hah. damn exciting can. hah.

anyway, had more fun the 2 days before V day! went around the school to sing song dedications for people - and had one for Ting as well - would have liked one each for XL, Ly n Steph, but sorry gals... Only available in NUS area ya... ;)

first day was mainly me and dora going round to sing, joined occasionally by Nd and PL - Dora's REALLY REALLY REALLY very good - i like her voice and her playing of the guitar, and her style overall, very casual but so POWER... was very tired after running round the whole day; we even had additional dedications last minute, we took it on since they choose from songs we practised for, and since the timeslots are empty...

second day - more variety of singers... hee... but i was a bit tired already - cos lack of sleep over the past few days... the first song of the morning my voice was a bit coarse... haha... after that had starfruit-pear juice and it was better... skipped bio psych tutorial so I could do Ting's dedication and hear my dedication at swaps table and hear Zhen's dedications as well.. hee...

It was all very tiring, but very fun... haha... It's fun to sing... haha...

oh, should note down here that all the girls in 17th comm got a card from the 17th comm guys... very nice... had all our individual pictures on it, and had messages from the guys... tot it was very nice and sweet of them... ;) and got a nice bear from Sam... sitting at the head of my bed now... and nice balloon sculpted by SY! hee... looks like a hibiscus i think - red and yellow with a pink stalk... also at head of my bed now - bear bear's holding it! hee...

oh and i was quite surprised to find a stalk of orchids at my door when i came back last night... it was from the RA... so, not missing the opportunity to do some PR, I quickly did her a small "bouquet" of lollies... haha... no harm being nice right...*wink wink*

today... surprisingly I'm not half-dead though only slept couple of hours...

took some quiet time by myself at the top of one of the staircases of AS4... the one that faces AS7... read my tutorial reading there while eating my lunch while listening to the rustling of the leaves.. very nice feeling...there's another AS4 staircase that has full length glass windows that looks out to the sea in the distance... that's one of the nicest places to be when you wanna be alone for a while... cos no one uses that stairs - the lift's just beside it... NUS staircases are very interesting places... some have this railing thing, and you can climb under the railing and sit at the edge... it's quite nice to sit there, dangle your legs a little.. provided you dun fall over lah...

went with Nd and Db to book Temasek Hall rooms for FOC... on the way we talked about com stuff... sigh... very sian... :(

Then we hung around SWAPS tables till Bio Psych lect... this Db... getting corny also... say i drink from "sigg" bottle, so this semester keep falling "sick"... haha... must record this one down... Db being corny... haha...

Went for Bio Psych lect... me and Db were passing notes to each other... it was until second half of the lect that I really dozed off... for a good 20 minutes I think I drifted in and out of sleep... haha... woke up at one point when lecturer was saying "Cocaine and amphetamine elevates mood and alertness ('energizing')" - I mumbled to Db that I needed some...

went to sing sing sing... actually wanted to go dinner with Db after that, but we took so loooong... sheesh... and the poor girl waited outside for me till almost 8pm... paiseh..

we sang till almost 9pm... actually feel a bit happier after singing... will sing more if I'm feeling down... Zhen, YH and me went Macs to eat dinner... and discovered from YH what "Quakers" are! hee... was quite curious about it when they mentioned in Band of Brothers... I remember asking my brother, but he also din know... heh... got something I can tell him when I go home for weekend liao... hee...

it's a slow feeling that grows on you... like poison, slowly spreading... dunno when it started, can't see when it'll end...

nothing much to make me unhappy about, but nothing much to make me happy about either... moodiness? maybe.. just felt it being a bit more overwhelming after com meeting just now.. went to breathe in fumes from shuttle bus and other vehicles just now - ie went for a jog/walk... felt relatively better... took a cold shower... felt relatively better...

just went up to put my laundry in the dryers - so much laundry that had to use 2 dryers... so loaded the first one liao, looking for a second one - the fastest one to finish will end soon, have to wait 13 minutes - okie, so i just stood around the balcony area near the washing machines to wait, look at dark dark sky... took some deep deep breaths...went back to check - opened the door of the dryer to discover:

that it was EMPTY. It was drying AIR. What the...??!!

well I supposed the few deep breaths at the balcony was making me feel relatively better. but which freaking IDIOT started the dryer on NOTHING??

argh... i should start studying for my BLOODY Bio psych test next week right... so why ain't I doin' it?

I think I'm getting very lazy... din do my x'mas cards for friends, and now I'm starting to think I won't have time/energy to do my Friendship day gifts either... especially after that day when we set up booth at SWAPS table, and I saw this other society selling stuff that basically is the idea I had for friendship day gift... damn... but I bought the stuff already... argh... or I could try and eat all that by myself and die of diabetes or lose all my teeth... Ha..

just read this person's blog (a link from someone's blog), and there's this thought about wanting and liking someone because that person has got some trait or characteristic that you want in yourself... interesting... yeah well, I suppose that works sometimes... hoping that some of that characteristic or trait will rub off on yourself? or is it wanting something you don't have? opposites (in that one aspect) attracts?

***
A guy friend forwarded this mail, I'm also including his comments at the top, in blue italic, the actual mail in green, and my own comments at the bottom...

***
someone sent me this... and i found it kind of amusingly irritating.

in the first place, i don't think i should be sending this out to all of
you. cos a line at the bottom states "Send this (e-mail) to every woman
who's worth a lot." don't think this clause really covers the girls on
my mailing list right... :) haha kidding lah.

or am i?

seriously, i think it is only fair to ask for what you deserve; so if
you cannot give as much as what you want, then don't expect any more
back in return.

cos it is true that a lot of men cannot really cannot make it. but
sometimes i feel that girls ask for a lot? like, hello, please look in
the mirror first.

well, i could be wrong. but i don't think anyone would bother to correct
me if i am, so too bad.

*snort*

read on and decide.

==

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the
question: "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and
asking, "Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said "Yes." She began to expound...

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he
can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take
care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that
matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"


The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to
money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to
money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for
perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection
mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't
need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for
perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...
believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man
who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a
financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to
understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me
grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be
submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who
isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...
he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I
can't help a man if he can't help himself."

When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a
puzzled look on his face. He said, "You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

Send this to every woman who's worth a lot.

To a certain degree, I do believe that this is what women of today are
looking for - both the EQ & the SEQ (Spiritual EQ), while many
men still think that women need them to provide financially. We
don't, because if all else fails, we can provide for ourselves;
but we need a companion, ie: a person who shares in our
work, pleasures, or misfortunes, etc(Oxford Dict). So guys,
gotta have a paradigm shift!!


***
Honestly? I think the woman in the mail sounds like quite a b*tch.. Okie, mayb that's too harsh...but i don't like the way she puts her words across... Especially in the first part... don't think it should be this way... but too tired to write more on this... bleargh...

Tehchino has screwed up my sleeping time again... sheesh... Even though I drank it at 8 plus pm... what do I have - low caffeine tolerance or what? haha...

will probably look half dead tomorrow... hope I dun scare anyone into staying far far away from our song dedication booth... opps..

woo... June sent this link... just tried for fun...
Brain Hemispherity Test

***

My results:
Joanna, you exhibit balanced hermispheric dominance and a strong visual preference. It is the intensity of your sensory preference which may more determine your learning style.

The balance of left- and right-hemisphere usage is very helpful to a highly visual learner. You absorb your environment, selecting out details and simultaneously embedding them in a context, an overall perspective which adds nuances of meaning. Given the prodigious rate that you input information, you naturally utilize the services of both hemispheres more or less equally. Eh, what "prodigious rate" do I input information at? I think I'm one of the few female species in the whole universe who can't multi-task (I'm quite embarrassed about it really...)

You are active and searching, which produces energy. Because you can process multiple inputs comfortably, you do not experience the indecision of a person with mixed sensory preference. You are able to focus on more than one aspect of a situation and push for resolution.

You can tolerate ambiguity, which is good, since you will experience a lot of it due to your input style. While a part of you will always seek completion, the other part will accept the process as it is. You may occasionally get impatient with yourself. You will always be able to work through problems in a logical sequence or given order, but you will have other options available to you as well.And maybe if I say that to myself enough times I'd achieve it...

You may find that you have insufficient time to reflect on your experences and thus lose a sense of meaning, not appreciating your "inner being" as much as you might otherwise.

Many people would envy your combination of characteristics. Constantly seeking stimulation, you are artisitic without needing to be "odd", and active learner and yet reasonably logical and disciplined.

***

The parts in bold... TRUE... been feeling lack of meaning and stimulation since school started... sheesh... and though I've got really interesting modules this sem, I'm feeling lesser enthusiasm than usual... :(

The Little Prince quiz again! hee... tried again and got the fox... but the description not accurate... oh well... I din lose a friend... but I like the fox in the book...


You are the fox.


Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

One of my fave books... Anyone who wants to borrow can tell me... it's in my hall room after Madelyn returned to me that day...


You are the flower.


Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh man... I'm the freaking flower... sheesh... I wanna be the fox! Hey! Fox! I want! argh...

Metres, Kilometres, Light years... who cares...

What I feel from the show:
Distance is not measured about how far apart 2 people are physically.
Distance is about the heart.
When hearts are linked, there's no distance - no matter whether you're in Taipei, Shanghai or Penefere.

Disclaimer: I can be the lousiest interpreter of themes of shows sometimes, but wth, this was what I felt.

At S11 SY brought up the topic about whether we want our friends to remember us after we die. I thought I did make my point on this in my blog, but hey, went back to look and I didn't say anything about it. hee. Paiseh.

Now, before sharing my stand, will share a poem - it is a poem I carry with me everywhere in my notebook.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep - Anonymous
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die.

This poem, by an unknown author, was found in an envelope left by a soldier killed by an exploding mine near Londonderry, in 1989. It was read aloud by his father on the BBC TV Programme Bookworm on Remembrance Sunday 1995.

When I die, I hope people will remember me - not keep me in their minds all the time, that's too torturous. I want them to go about their normal lives, do their own things, and occasionally see something that reminds them of me, or they feel I'd have liked, and think a little thought "Yup, she would have liked that." and just stop there. Forget the part of "But now she's gone."

That second part's not necessary. Totally redundant. Because I believe that those who have passed on, live on in our hearts and minds. They are only a thought away.

Distance apart: a thought.

People want to watch modified reality - they're not interested in reality.
I suppose that's why drama serials sell. Real but not too real till you feel you're watching TV with an untouchable Plasma screen.

But how do we tell when it's reality and when it's modified reality? I mean, life does take many weird turns - nothing is quite too weird to happen.
Just because something happens less frequently doesn't mean it can't happen.
Just because something happens less frequently doesn't mean it's always considered weird.
Just because something happens less frequently doesn't mean it's not real.
Just because something happens less frequently doesn't mean it must be modified reality.

One man's created illusion can become another's reality.
Sounds a little weird, sounds a little cruel. This is from the show, when they wanted to create an illusion for Ye Ying, so she could get over things. Sounds a little Decartes. Sounds a little surreal.

To hide in a fantasy or face up to reality?
A matter of perception - the conclusion we got after sitting in front of National Library S11.
To be unrealistically hopeful, or hopelessly unrealistic - both can't be good.
Don't be extreme.

went to watch on sunday with D, YZ, SY, ZS, SY's friend and ZS's friend at Esplanade.. A lot of thoughts - not all came during or immediately after the show, but here they are...

Always a Child
No matter how old a child becomes, he/she will always remain a child in the parent's eye. Sheesh I felt this especially strongly when I reached home at 230am after the show - nothing like scolding from MAMA to make you feel like a kid.

Guai Guai exclaimed to her mother that she has already grown up, but her mother just asks, "Aren't you still my child?"

There are 2 types of time - 时间有两种
One is the public time - moving like everyone else's time. The other is frozen time - the one most important moment of your life.

A twist of this thought - linked with the point about the parent always seeing their child as a vulnerable small kid -
my mom's time is frozen - at the point where I was a kid, still unable to take care of myself
my time has been moving on - I'm 20 freaking years old, for goodness sake.

Is it about time? About how long it takes for me to learn?
Is it about time? About time to let go?