in thoughts...

my laptop's spoilt. :(
sent it for repair at computer centre.
sigh...
i mean, i've got most of my data recorded
but still, there was this pang of sadness(?) when the guy at the computer centre said
"All your data will be gone"
with such certainty too.
somehow even though i was backing up my stuff,
i was hoping that i wouldn't need to lose all my data.
ALL leh.
sian.
din manage to backup all my mp3s though. :(
urgh.

***
and just when i wanna blog in Chinese, my laptop's not here.
grrr...

anyway, just wanted to share this story i heard over 933 over a week ago.
hah.

A family of 5 was going on a road trip.
Daddy was driving, and Mommy was in the front passenger seat.
Big Bro sat at the back with younger brother and sister.
As it was a rather long trip, they stopped over at a gas station
loo break, gas top-up etc
Mom and Dad bought some snacks and passed to Big Bro at the back, saying:
"Share those with your younger siblings."
*Dang, this sounds much better in Chinese. hmph.*
"Fen1 yi4 xie1 gei3 di4 mei4."

They went on the road again.
It was a trip they were not familiar with, and after a while they came to a junction.
Mom and Dad started arguing about which road to take
and the atmosphere in the car became filled with tension and discomfort as Mom and Dad seemed pissed off with each other.
no one spoke for a long while.
then the youngest daughter took action.
she leaned forward towards her mother
gave her several kisses on the cheek and said:
"Share those with Daddy."
"Fen1 yi4 dian3 gei3 ba4 ba4"

And Mom did as she was told.
Everyone smiled and was happy again.


just tot it was a sweet story and wanted to share. :)

***
it's amazing, primary school really is.
my tuition kid learns the most interesting things there.

As usual B was not concentrating. okie well, that Sunday it wasn't that bad.
Concentration level reached peaks of 70% at times.
Note, "at times".

Anyway he suddenly seemed animated (he is always SUDDENLY animated - it's not a gradual thing) and started writing these words down on his paper:

MINS
RUNS
CUP

he told me to read it out, letter by letter.
and damn me, i did. kena tricked.
only the first one though.

you try it.


and man, i really wanted to read this out to him - URNS.

wah blog diarrhoea hah


not sure if anyone heard 音乐日记 tonight
but it was about this working gal
who stained her skirt during *ahem* that time of the month
apparently the only other 2 girls in the company were out on meetings etc
so no one to send "aid" and she din know what to do
so she hid in an empty conference meeting room
and she suddenly realized that there was this guy in the room
and he apparently knew what's up with her cos he saw
(when she was sneaking into the conference room she had her back to him)
and she was damn paiseh
but he just walked up to her and asked
"what brand you use?"
and she, though paiseh, told him
and he went to get for her

she was wondering why he was taking so long
cos there was some shop just downstairs
and when he came back she din even say thanks - just snatched the plastic bag from him
then when she was in the loo
she opened the bag to find not only the much-needed pad
but underwear
and GET THIS -
he bought a skirt similar to the one she was wearing that day
that was why he took so long

my GOSH.
hahah.
machiam make movie lidat
but that's damn sweet la
and they're together now
and he always carries a sanitary pad with him when he goes out with her

hah.
idea for you guys out there isn't it
卫生绵在手
万事通！
okie mayb not 万事通 la,
but i'm sure even if you dun get hitched with the girl,
you'll have her utmost heartfelt appreciation

went for the talk yesterday regarding scholarships by european union
thanks Des for telling me
nothing in detail on clinical linguistics, have to check out website on my own
but sounds really really good - you guys wanting scholarships in Europe (BOND-FREE, mind you) check out http://europa.eu.int/comm/education/programmes/mundus/projects/index_en.html
except that they mentioned something like - if you have command of a language spoken in the country you're applying to, it's really an advantage
and considering that it was a talk organized by Dept of European studies,
i was sitting amidst people who could open their mouth slightly
and spew fluent German and French in my face,
i think i felt a little small at that moment. hah.
cos it's a requirement of their department's graduations stuff blah blah.
damn. my German is hopeless.

but the part where i felt most - i dunno how to put it -
was when one of the lecturers went up to speak after the representative from EU finished
he was making general clarifications and announcements about graduation requirements, new rules such as the CAP lock-in or something
and this is the part

he called for office-bearers for European Studies Society.
*deep breath*
a lecturer.
calling for students to join the society as office-bearers.
a call for passionate students to breathe life into the student society.
for "us to get to know each other and learn more from one another".
he commented that they previously had a horse-riding expedition in Malaysia
and he said that such events are actually quite fun "so please join us for some fun"

how ironic isn't it?
here, not so far away, is a student body
with ideas, plans, a full committee of students willing to put in effort
and others come with pins and needles to poke poke poke
to burst plans, to burst hopes
when that student body comes to a state that needs "revival" one day,
will any lecturer step forward to call for students to join it?
fat hope.
unless one of the students in the society comes back as a lecturer that is.
HAH.

hmm Shiyun's comment brought more thoughts

"hey. i never wanted to go to either heaven or hell. if there's life after
death i wanna be a wandering ghosts, help my loved ones out secretly n support
them.

but i dowan life after death-- that's no death at all. if u get wad i mean
=]. i wan reincarnation though. but i wouldnt know too. so simply put - i hope
there's no life after death! been wishin n hoping n dreaming n..."

kinda made me think of "The Sixth Sense" though.
maybe because they were showing it last Sat (I think) on Channel 5.
one of my favourite shows. maybe because there are some ideas about afterlife.
but i digress.
right.
i'd love to be a wandering ghost, watching after my loved ones.
but hmmm if i die now i'll be a terribly unhappy ghost i think
too many things i've yet to do
haven't enjoyed life enough yet
they better give me some counselling before they release me to be a wondering ghost
hah. makes me think of the book - five people you meet in heaven (Mitch Albom)

and hey, i'd love to think i can help my loved ones even after i die
but they better give me some super powers if i were to do that
like..
the power to foresee things
let's imagine this:
i see my loved one about to fall down by tripping over a stone
that will result in what, a bruised knee, some cuts
maybe have to sit on the ground and whine a bit
if i remove the stone, my loved one continues walking - no bruise, no cuts, no pain
what if a car comes crashing at the spot where my loved one is walking
now that he/she did not get "stopped" by the fall?
ie i save my loved one from a small, relatively harmless fall
only for him/her to be knocked down by a car?

hmm now it feels like a combination of the five people you meet in heaven and Final Destination. hah.
but hey, if i can't help them
i'll feel helpless
and man, GOD knows that's a feeling i dun like
(hah, sorry just have to laugh a bit at that previous line. i'm mad i know)

reincarnation..
interesting.
i wanna be a cat. MEOW.

just catching up on a few of Wanda's past entries, read this bit from the entry Funerals, Part Deux:

There's that nagging little doubt that burrows it's self into the depths of my mind. What if there is no life after death? What if we simply cease to exist? Which I guess shouldn't be so scary. After all if we cease to exist then we don't know we've ceased to exist, right? And if you've led a pretty questionable life and your not heaven bound, wouldn't ceasing to exist be better than hell?

heh.
pretty cool thought.
actually come to think of it,
i'd rather there's totally no life after death.
meaning no hell, AND no heaven.
and no in-between ground too thank you, for wondering ghosts. hah.
that way, no one will feel sad after they die.
cos they wun feel anything.
can you imagine if you went to heaven and your loved one didn't?
you gotta spend eternity without your loved one.
that idea sucks.
which is probably why people try so hard
to get people they care about to be a believer of their religion.
i get the kind intention, but neh...

and anyway
what do you spend eternity doing?
something about what Freud said
"Arbeiten und Lieben"
Work and Love being important aspects of life
i dunno what heaven looks like
but i guess this image of dreamy skies, beautiful flowers is conjured up in my mind
no doubt the influence of movies and books
i can't imagine people working there
what do they do? Trim rose bushes?
maybe they go around expressing their love for that brother or this sister
Work and Love still, in eternity.

or maybe they just sit around applying fat-free butter to bread
for "a taste of heaven". hah.


wait, heaven got food or not huh??

just had the weirdest thought this morning

was forwarding Sam's message to all swappies to meet for dinner if they could
that very night at 7pm, city hall mrt station
i messaged to every swappie on my list
(even a couple who din have my number and replied to ask who i am hah)

and it just felt as if i was helping to organize a flash mob
hah

actually, think about it
if we could activate every swappie to meet somewhere at the same time,
we could have a semi-big flash mob too huh.

Wine


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

haven't had much to blog about.
haven't been reading many blogs cos many ppl ain't updating.
i go thru a routine almost daily, clicking on all my frequent reads
and while it used to take a flat 2 hours last time
nowadays it takes me half an hour at most.
hah.
anyway... one of my frequent reads
always witty, always amusing,
and offers much food for thought.
just nothing with dairy content tho. ;)
No Milk Please

something about this recent entry "Dry"
about a book about alcoholism (and well, life too i suppose)
read his entry please, i dun do the book or his entry any justice. hah.
one part, well, i wouldn't say it shook me hard
but it did nudge me quite a bit.

Another character, with terminal breast cancer, muses about how she didn’t
realize the insidiousness of alcoholism:

“Back when I was drinking, when I thought nothing [bad] had ever happened to me, something did. A lot of time passed. In bars, at parties with people I didn’t care for. It wasn’t about love or reading the Sunday paper in bed or anything that people call ‘life.’ It was always about drinking. So actually, something bad, very bad, did happen to me. I wasted my life.”

But before you think that this book is a downer, it’s not.

It’s a book with a real message: that life is about living, not to drink and
withdraw from.

not because i drink.
i dun.
well hardly.
but that line in bold, written by the blogger Paul,
i guess it's something we can all think about.
that life's not something to withdraw from.

and just before i read this,
i was just opening my room window and thinking
how wonderful it's been for this past year
having a room to escape back to.
when i dun feel like socializing
when i feel like being alone
when i feel like i have to try so darn hard to socialize
when i dun feel like facing up to certain things
withdrawal from reality
withdrawal from people
withdrawal from whatever i dun like or dun wanna know
but i guess the very things i was hiding from
are the very things that make up life.

okie. turns out it's not just my room.
deb's room has little red ants all over too.
hers go behind the noticeboard.
EA... *shake head*
it's either the red ants explore all rooms,
or they love our wing of the residence,
or deb's room has some lousy lizard that died too. hah.

anyway
after that previous entry
was quite bored the next day and tried something out
used tissue and put salt on it, then poured water over it
and went to wipe the "ant path"
seems like it works.
they dun walk there anymore.
they just find other places to walk. hah.
crap.

so yes.
the SOLUTION for now:
sodium chloride...

*yawn*
so bored.

bloody ants are invading my room.
damn.
hate it.
some lousy lizard must have died behind the wooden rack.
damn.
hate it.

***
haven't really felt like i had a rested sleep for very long.
i sleep hell enough.
at least 7 hours daily.
plus i usually laze in bed for anything from 1 to 2 hours.
that's SLOTH for you. hah.
but i dun feel rested.
and i've been told i look tired.
yeah and i kinda feel tired.
not because i'm doing more things.
no. not at all.
i'm doing so little that i'm amazed that i can even be tired.
but somehow i dun feel motivated.
i look at SO and SH during my tutorial and think "woah"
where do their energy come from?
i dun remember having so much energy and passion even when i was in year 1
am i that jaded already?
hah.
maybe that is what really differentiates a good student from a mediocre one.
went for the talk just now.
thesis. the way they say it, it's so damn important if i ever wanna further my studies.
urgh. i hope my speech therapy path works out fine.
if i ever thought i could be happy doing research
i'm thinking twice now.
i think i need people in my life.
that's why my tuition is not killing me;
it's getting to be quite an important part of my life now.
those little rascals are, well, kinda endearing.

tired. gonna sleep.