in thoughts...

Must clarify something about all that concern over the 2 entries of
"Loading.... Loading... 100% Matrix Reloaded...." 13 Nov 2003 &
"I'm Natural, seeking to become Genetically-Modified..." 14 Nov 2003.

I'm fine, really... No hard feelings... In fact I'm glad I wrote about it, and I'm glad to hear everyone's views... and Shiyun, I DIN COME FROM DUSTBIN, thanks... haha...

It's just this thing about cognitive dissonance of sorts... the discomfort of having my thoughts and my behavior (well in this case it's predicted behavior) contradict themselves...

I've always been a loudmouth about how I feel towards war... always felt that, for instance, (just for example huh... I seek to be semi-politically-correct... haha...)one life of an American is in no way better than one life of a Japanese... one life of a non-Jew is in no way better than one life of a Jew...

and you know how Orwell's "managerial" pigs say, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

so I strongly advocated equality...

yet the very choice I wanted to make to save ONE person instead of 25 000 others is to say that the ONE life is BETTER, WORTH MORE compared to the culmulative worth of 25 000 others...

That really got to me for a while... I was, honestly, a bit disgusted that I can say one thing and then possibly choose to do another...

But I read your comments and yah, maybe it really is the situation huh... whether it's everyday life or a situation of life-and-death catastrophe...

Just had to get it outta my head so I can study... wah anyway my social psych exam yesterday sucked... which I see as a bad omen of sorts... for the last 2 sems, both of my first exams earned me my highest grade out of the 5 modules... wah, that pattern better not hold true this sem, or else I can see what my grades this sem are gonna look like... haha...