in thoughts...

I wonder what the world would be like without mirrors... without reflective surfaces... where water gives no reflection... where glass panes reflect nothing while still allowing you to see through it...

If people don't know how they look, would they behave differently? If attractive people didn't know they were attractive, would they be more humble and less presumptous? - yah yah, generalization... I do know some unpresumptous attractive people... let me get my point across first... If unattractive or less attractive people didn't know they were unattractive or less attractive, would they be more self-confident and less restrained? - yah yah, generalizations and assumptions... give me a moment before you pounce on my words...

It'll be like the game where everyone sticks their card taken from the deck to their forehead... the whole world but you knows what number your card reads...you're the only idiot who doesn't know... but hey, they don't know their own number too... you can trick them... they can choose whether to believe you... you may look at someone's card and think yours is highly likely to be higher, but hey, who knows right?

If you didn't know how you looked, you wouldn't know how you measured up to the person next to you... you can laugh at how ridiculous or ugly or disgusting the person next to you appears to be, but for all you know, you could be worse... maybe that would stop your laughter...

When you have a mirror and know how you look, you'll compare (ah, come on, don't pretend you don't...) And that's probably where the imbalance in the world comes about... some people have inflated egos... others get low self-esteem...

While I was entertaining the thought in my head that mirrors were bad, I suddenly felt that, hey... actually mirrors offer objective information... it's the interpretation of what you see in the mirror that's subjective, and perhaps the source of the unwanted stuff-eg low self-esteem...

To focus on specific parts of your looks, for example, to say that I have long eyelashes, nice smile and nice eyes is to try to play up these good points in a bid to try to ignore my other wanting features... a consolation of sorts...

but I think I can live with that...

In fact, I think that might be the only way I can live with myself...

A poem I wrote in secondary school... a period of time when everyone around me were stuck in a frenzy about looks... wait a minute... maybe the frenzy's still there now... haha...

THE UGLY CHILD
Alone in her room, she sits and stares
At the blank ceiling, so white, so bare.
There is no mirror on the walls,
Closed are the windows and the doors.
The curtains have been drawn since long ago,
So no stares can enter, nor the Sun's cheery glow.

No one enters to see the girl,
Loneliness slowly engulfs her.
But she will not step out to seek the rest,
For they feel only they are the best.
With them she knew she would never belong,
Friendship was like a never-heard-of song.

For years within the walls she was trapped,
Nowhere from sadness could she hide.
But not until the day she died,
Was she going to venture outside.
Death was something she was not afraid to face,
To face people, she just could not be brave.

There was once when she stepped out,
Into the heartless world so proud.
Cruel children laughed and asked,
Why can't she simply wear a mask?
Adults stared at her in distaste,
Others simply looked away in haste.

Why did they do that? What was it?
Was it her disfigured face? Was that it?
She remembered asking Mom and Dad,
Why did they have to treat me like that?
Because they live in their perfect little world,
Insensitive to the less fortunate like her.

All others, with beauty they had been blessed,
Still, they want perfection and nothing less.
They shout and scream and make a fuss when they have a zit,
When all she wanted was to look better, just a bit.
Many times she wonders why the world is so unfair,
But there is no one to answer, no one there.

Alone in her room she sits and stares,
At the blank ceiling, so white, so bare...