in thoughts...

woah.
was preparing to dump my food into my rice-cooker when my friend came to talk to me on msn
told me about a friend from our sec sch who's getting married soon
she's not even 20 yet
still studying now, probably gonna graduate end of this acad year

but hmmm
dunno if the news came as a shock
this is the first time i think that someone my own age whom i know is getting married
suddenly my lunch seemed a bit hard to stomach
(or maybe the news was too much to stomach)
urgh feel like puking

but woah, must clarify
not because i dun like the person
but just
i dunno - just feeling like
like...
WOAH
just woah
i can't find a word to describe it

my fren told me about her other friend and her fiance
working like mad every month giving tuition while studying
and they have a car and flat ALREADY
WOAH

i mean, here i am
still studying, just past my 21st birthday
and a classmate is getting married
huh?
i haven't even lived my life yet??!!
I dun think it's envy
it's more like -
how can people my age know that this is what they want
when i haven't even decided my direction yet?

it's like i'm still learning to walk
and these people are scaling mountains already

and did i already say...

WOAH

urgh - need lunch need lunch but dun feel like eating

WOAH