in thoughts...

I'm at the age where most of my peers have had, or are having a boyfriend or girlfriend of their own, battled or are battling some emotional upheavals... Me? Never had a relationship with a guy yet, and I'm not rushing into things... I don't want to get a boyfriend just because everyone else(almost..) has one... Maybe you're thinking, HAH, she's probably incapable of getting a boyfriend, she's just making it sound as if she has a choice on this... Maybe you're right, but maybe you're not... The thing is, I don't want to actively try to get a boyfriend, so I won't know how true the above statement is... And maybe it's exactly because I've never been in love before that I'm holding on to such idealistic views on love... That Love happens when you least expect it... that the best love blossoms when friendship is firm - and even if love dies, the friendship remains... my my, I can see you shaking your head... The Naive One speaks...

My friend was asking me for advice, whether she should start a relationship with this guy who likes her a lot... problem is, she doesn't seem to like him as much as he likes her, and the height factor was a bit lacking, which can be a problem for her because she's tall... She asked me to ask her questions which will let her determine if she really wants to go out with him... She did mention that the temptation is great to just get a boyfriend, because SO MANY people around us are attached, and are so EASILY attached... I offered her advice, asked her questions - "is it any guy who comes along has a chance, or is it because it's him that he gets a chance?" Not sure how useful those questions are, but hey, you're asking an amateur for advice - you throw peanuts out, expect monkeys... Well, they are now a couple, and I hope she's happy... told her that love should, at the very least, be a happy thing (I refrain from saying happy "affair" because that kind of makes it sound like a short-lived thing, though I suppose there are really looooong affairs...)

What I said to her, eventually sums up to this - give it a try, because he really sounds like he's serious, he doesn't sound like someone out for just a fling, and I think, for girls, it's always good to find a guy who loves you more than you love him... maybe I'm generalising, but I think girls have a larger tendency and capacity to gradually learn to love a guy more... Maybe I'm just speaking for myself here...

"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself."
'Lord Goring', Oscar Wilde in "An Ideal Husband"

I do have a group of friends who, like me, have never been attached before... we joke about it, but secretly, I wonder if all of them are really that easy about not having a boyfriend... I mean, we are talking about the abdominable and powerful agent of PEER PRESSURE here... Sometimes we have to declare out loud that we love Singlehood - especially if you hear about all the things you don't want to happen to you... sometimes we just console each other.... that we haven't meet a suitable person yet... Or, to up the ego a bit, my friend argues that because she's too pretty, she is doomed to be matched with an ugly guy (because she always sees pretty girls with ugly boyfriends), and that this ugly boyfriend hasn't turned up yet... I sometimes jest with her, saying I always see the cute guys with not-so-pretty girlfriends, so I concede to be not-so-pretty, and I started my slogan of "Cute guy, drop from the sky!", which makes her laugh quite a bit... I personally like my slogan because it rhymes... oh well... Actually all my crushes so far, all the guys I've secretly admired, they're seldom cute... Rather, they are super nice guys... Problem is, they are so super nice that they often come attached with their own super nice girlfriends...

"It's not the perfect, but the imperfect, who have need of love."
'Sir Robert Chiltern', Oscar Wilde in "An Ideal Husband"