in thoughts...

You want a kid? Check this out...

if you've gone to the link above, might think twice about wanting to have kids right?

Yeah, well. It's a kid. Not a soft toy. Not a computer. Not something you can buy, own, and then decide that you made a bad decision in getting it. What the heck, we think for very long before we get something expensive anyway right? We find out the functions of that laptop, compare the prices, decide if you really need it, or really want it. Not to mention a kid.

My personality psych class forum - tutorial mates are discussing this - about women not wanting kids nowadays, about men also not wanting kids nowadays...
guys dun wanna have babies unless they know they can provide for them.
girls dun wanna have babies because the whole world thinks that once she has a baby, the baby's her business.
both dun wanna have babies because Singapore's a pressure cooking country - dun quote me on that, I din say it, they did.
both dun wanna have babies because it's so expensive.
girls and some guys want paternity leave - the baby's half the guy's too - but at the same time they're afraid that being absent from work may affect chances of promotion, bonuses and other opportunities.
some girls want longer maternity leave, but same concern - being away from work for too long might have consequences.

so many problems.

Why have kids? And if you think about it, Is's quite right - many reasons why we have kids (well, at least the reasons I could think of) are really reasons that serve ourselves rather than the kids themselves.
Is asked why I would wanna bring a kid here to this world to suffer - this fucked up world - where accidents take place all the time, killing them anyway, where there's a high chance of the kid becoming a drug addict and so on...

I started saying that the world doesn't just consist of the bad... but the airy-fairy idea of bringing them into this world so they can experience the good in this world was easily shot down by him: if you din bring the kid into this world in the first place, there wouldn't be so much trouble - nothing bad will happen to them - he insists that experiences aren't like bank accounts of credit and debit: it's not like the case where as long as the good experiences outweigh the bad, it'll be okie. NO. Bad experiences - you gotta live with them - like wounds that don't go away(his analogy).

the talk went on for quite a bit. In the end I was quite convinced that I am selfish to want a kid. I mean, the other reasons we talked about were like what, so that it completes marriage life? Yeah, well, that sounds kinda selfish to me now... I'm slightly brainwashed (but I still want a kid! Even if that makes me selfish! Provided I find a guy I can bring a kid up with lah...)

But later he said that if his kid will be able to make a difference (I suppose to this fucked up world?), then yeah, it makes sense to have a kid.

Well, you never know if he/she (the kid) is gonna achieve that, right? Gotta try before you can find out.