in thoughts...

gone through the full range of possible roles in Absolut camp
camper, camp committee, facilitator
and i'd say being the facilitator, even more than being camp chair last year
has been the greatest challenge for me so far

told a friend that day that i was back from a self-awareness camp
she asked - why do you go for that kinda stuff?
-shrug- no idea
when i signed up for absolut as a camper
i was damn skeptical about the self-awareness "bullshit"
3D2N camp and you want me to discover something i din know in all my 19 yrs of life??
(was 19 years old then lah)
but absolut has brought me far
and ben as my facilitator then probably set something in motion in me
one of the reasons why i chose to be a more active member of swaps

and till this day i wonder
how many people can be as good a facilitator as he is?
and though some people say that good facilitation is a gift
i believe he also put in work to be where he is
and that will be my motivation

absolut this year...
a camp committee of familiar people
mostly of the FOC programs gang
being advisor to them, amazingly, always makes me learn more stuff
and there are times i wonder if i really have what it takes to be an advisor
a very humbling experience ;)
but it's probably one of the last chances i have
of learning from des as a fellow advisor - once again, as i've written in your warm fuzzy -
thanks des, i've still got loads more to learn from you
but thanks for all you've taught me already

looking at how the camp was run this year
and comparing to the job we did last year
i'd say Zhisheng did a better job than me
i felt there was better opening, preparation of the campers of what to expect
more inspiration of thought, more anticipation created
i felt there was better closure, a more complete feel that camp had ended
i was very reluctant to speak last year to the whole camp
but well, that's one part that was done much better this year
but i guess i was slightly luckier last year cos it din rain

programs... there was quite some innovation this year
due to the choice of programs personnel too i guess
but it's good - it's always good to have more new games
especially when absolut programs are so hard to do
have to incorporate fun while fulfilling the objectives
and lin yen, the handbook was a saviour =)

was feeling quite panicky on eve of absolut
cos never worked with BC before
hardly said more than "hi" to him
(in fact, said hi about twice to him, to be exact)
and was wondering what will happen if i screwed up the facilitation
of cos it helped to know ali was in my group
but she couldn't be there the whole time
thankfully things turned out well
and BC's really quite a good facilitator
we worked well together (phew)
and my campers were quite nice to facilitate
heh cos they're quite willing to share and disclose
so it didn't require a lot of work on our part

-my Absolut learning points and thoughts-

to read cues from people, to recognize the look that they're ready to speak, just waiting for someone to give a slight prompt, to recognize when they've finished, to recognize that they have a thought to share in response to someone else's comment (man i have a lot to learn here)

to really listen and remember things that people shared and to check to see if there is a link between what is shared at present and what was previously shared. this one takes super mega memory power and is very challenging (but oh so rewarding because you may just shed some light on something not thought of in the first place)

to get people to answer more than your immediate question. when they continue to elaborate, things become clearer for them, even if not for you. when people have to articulate their thoughts, they have to think harder to make it clearer to others. (this is one of the ways how having a blog made me know myself better)

-BC-
really have quite a bit to learn from this guy. at first thought he'd be quite the quiet kind but hey he's really quite funny at times and he manages to get people to share and disclose. he's friendly to everyone, makes people feel at ease and makes people feel good about themselves because he sees the good in everyone. knows what to do at the right time. it has been my good fortune to be able to work with him.

-Des-
as mentioned above, Des is like the guru. so many things to learn from him, so little learnt. his level of commitment-what else can i say? RESPECT :) and i guess i'll have to learn from you how to manage so many things and do them well.. i was very touched when, even though you were tired and busy, you still told ali that i din seem so fantastic and got her to call me. i appreciate that... thanks...

-Jav-
well this guy. hmmm. i think numerous times we felt like strangling him. hah. but there's something about him, how he never gets angry though we always trample his ideas to bits then try to rebuild it again. i know for the stubborn me, i'd defend my ideas like MAD and i'll get damn pissed if people tried to tear my ideas apart. and i appreciate how he listens to my suggestions-especially during the phonecall in the midst of tribal instincts, when we were discussing about the objective of cooperation. thanks.. for somehow staying sane while making the rest of us insane. haha. there's some balance after all.

-LYn-
somehow i always let this girl down. the bloody aircon during FOC finale nite. then monday tried to print the handbook for her in order but haii cannot make it. :( but something about her that even during tough times she never makes you feel bad about yourself, and she'll always have a smile for you. she goes out of her way to do stuff for you, sacrificing her sleep and all. and she always SNATCHES stuff from me cos she'd rather carry everything herself than let me carry anything. haha. notti notti.

-SY and Ali-
my other facis in the group! hee.. both are my very good friends and i'm glad they're with me. thanks for taking over some of the games from me and BC.. cos we both a bit tired also.. anyway you two did good facilitating those games cos i think we all have different facilitating styles, so it was quite interesting. :)

-Zhisheng-
well i think there is plenty i can learn from him. last year we weren't so eager and vigorous in getting sponsorships and i dare say we didn't try hard enough. and i think i didn't ask for a lot from my com, but i think he made it clear to his com what he wanted, and he got the results. Absolut is a lot more powerful and well-defined in terms of programs and its execution. and what i failed to do in my follow-up to the next absolut com, i guess he'd do it for the com for next absolut ;) thanks for thinking far.. i think this is the way for swaps to get better and better. and while it may be lonely to be up in the camp chair seat, you know you have our support.. :)

once again. one more Absolut journey. it's been good. thanks to all who went on my personal journey with me.